The writing, for those who are interested, is starting up again, slowly. I'm worldbuilding right now, on a new thing, nothing to do with my old projects (which I'm not letting go either, mind). 
It's very sci-fi, and I'm currently in the middle of creating alien races and new laws of physics, and it's very like Valérian et Laureline if you look at it closely.
Anyway, todays article is about friendship and love and a lot of other soppy, sentimental stuff. Cynics may leave now. You see, I've got a friend (who, because she doesn't know I'm writing about her, we shall call M) who just spent the week with us. From Saturday morning till Saturday morning. It was really cool.
But this friend has a boyfriend, who she's been with for nearly 4 years. And you know how when you leave your loved one for a week, you really miss them, and ring every night and stay on the phone for hours? Well, that didn't happen. My friend was worried about it. She came here because she could no longer stand living with the guy and hoped a week away from him would put everything into perspective. In a way it did, but not the way she thought. By the end of the week, she was missing her cats, but not her boyfriend.
I know of the problems she's having, and to be honest if I were her, I'd have left long ago. The guy is not bad, but in short he treats her like she's his mother, and gets really indignant when she tries to act like his girlfriend instead. Or else he seems lost, like he doesn't know what's going on. Another example of the dangers of having an only child and coddling him.
We had another friend around, a really nice guy who we shall call E. E is chronically single despite his niceness (he's also quite good-looking, even in a non-geeky way); I think this is due to a combination of shyness and geekiness.
The two of them sniped playfully at each other all week, and chatted each night until five in the morning. He probably knows her better than I do now, and I was her residence neighbour for a year. My boyfriend and I casually observed them all week, hoping that M would realize her guy is a mama's boy and it would be a mercy to send him back to said mama, and that E actually acts more or less like an adult and is really sweet, and they should totally get together.
She realizes he is really sweet. She said so to me. She knows her boyfriend is a mama's boy.
But she loves her boyfriend. She can't imagine a future without him. She's afraid of losing him, of hurting him, because he's sort of dependant on her.
So what did I do? Trying to persuade her to leave him would put her in defensive mode and she'd be back to persuading herself and everyone else that everything is fine. Getting her to fall in love with E would only worsen the situation - nobody ever said you can't be in love with two people at once (or if they did, they were wrong). The only thing I can do, other than simply be there and listen, is help her pick up the fragments of their couple and try to put them back together. Only when she realizes that is impossible, will she know she has to leave.
Anyway, maybe it's not impossible. As I said, M's boyfriend is not a bad guy. If he accepts the idea of growing up and learning to make his own decisions, perhaps it'll get better. What do I know? My boyfriend is an adult - until it comes to housework, that is, and most men are the same anyway. As long as there is the slightest possibility they can work it out, I have to help her try.
As for E, if M doesn't want him, he'll find someone else eventually. And I know better than to hope that they'll magically get together and come and live in Grenoble with us. Even if it would be really cool.
It's very sci-fi, and I'm currently in the middle of creating alien races and new laws of physics, and it's very like Valérian et Laureline if you look at it closely.Anyway, todays article is about friendship and love and a lot of other soppy, sentimental stuff. Cynics may leave now. You see, I've got a friend (who, because she doesn't know I'm writing about her, we shall call M) who just spent the week with us. From Saturday morning till Saturday morning. It was really cool.
But this friend has a boyfriend, who she's been with for nearly 4 years. And you know how when you leave your loved one for a week, you really miss them, and ring every night and stay on the phone for hours? Well, that didn't happen. My friend was worried about it. She came here because she could no longer stand living with the guy and hoped a week away from him would put everything into perspective. In a way it did, but not the way she thought. By the end of the week, she was missing her cats, but not her boyfriend.
I know of the problems she's having, and to be honest if I were her, I'd have left long ago. The guy is not bad, but in short he treats her like she's his mother, and gets really indignant when she tries to act like his girlfriend instead. Or else he seems lost, like he doesn't know what's going on. Another example of the dangers of having an only child and coddling him.
We had another friend around, a really nice guy who we shall call E. E is chronically single despite his niceness (he's also quite good-looking, even in a non-geeky way); I think this is due to a combination of shyness and geekiness.
The two of them sniped playfully at each other all week, and chatted each night until five in the morning. He probably knows her better than I do now, and I was her residence neighbour for a year. My boyfriend and I casually observed them all week, hoping that M would realize her guy is a mama's boy and it would be a mercy to send him back to said mama, and that E actually acts more or less like an adult and is really sweet, and they should totally get together.
She realizes he is really sweet. She said so to me. She knows her boyfriend is a mama's boy.
But she loves her boyfriend. She can't imagine a future without him. She's afraid of losing him, of hurting him, because he's sort of dependant on her.
So what did I do? Trying to persuade her to leave him would put her in defensive mode and she'd be back to persuading herself and everyone else that everything is fine. Getting her to fall in love with E would only worsen the situation - nobody ever said you can't be in love with two people at once (or if they did, they were wrong). The only thing I can do, other than simply be there and listen, is help her pick up the fragments of their couple and try to put them back together. Only when she realizes that is impossible, will she know she has to leave.
Anyway, maybe it's not impossible. As I said, M's boyfriend is not a bad guy. If he accepts the idea of growing up and learning to make his own decisions, perhaps it'll get better. What do I know? My boyfriend is an adult - until it comes to housework, that is, and most men are the same anyway. As long as there is the slightest possibility they can work it out, I have to help her try.
As for E, if M doesn't want him, he'll find someone else eventually. And I know better than to hope that they'll magically get together and come and live in Grenoble with us. Even if it would be really cool.
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